Waiting for Christmas Dinner!

I get back from the V-E-T several ounces thinner from all the fur that THEY shave off me, and I thank the Cat Goddess that THEY finally take that darn tube out of my neck.

Merry Christmas! The only present I get this year is something THEY take away. Whatever -- it's a blessing in any case. I'm feeling so much better now!

Twice a day, People #1 keeps sticking another tube into the corner of my mouth. At least it doesn't stay there long. It spits out this nasty tasting stuff, but I take it like the mancat that I am.

Except the few times that I manage to spit it out. Ha ha ha!

I'm training my People to give me treats as soon as that tube is out of my mouth.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for my special Christmas dinner. A word starting with an "h" might freeze over first.



People #2 picks me up and puts me on another part of the couch while HE eats off that plate. Oh well.

I'm a little bit annoyed but at least he pets me all the time while he's eating, and I purr in contentment, despite my best efforts to remain aloof.

Happy-happy, All!

A Challenging Week

My People are working my nerves big-time this week.

First they bring out these noisy sticks which they blow on one end and make ugly sounds together. (They call this "recorder music".) Whatever. It's disturbing my naps in any case.

I get out my iPod and listen to Enya's version of the song "How Much is that Kitty in the Window?" with the repeat on until they stop.



These sticks sound like birds trapped in a cage. This gets me all excited. My People don't know if my meowing is because of wanting to eat birds (always!) or whether it's because I want them to stop playing.

Let them figure it out!

The second thing is that they take me to the dreaded V-E-T to fix this little problem with an abscess I have for a while now.

As you cats can imagine, I do not like the V-E-T. Who does?

My People take me out of my comfortable, tastefully-decorated Airstream space, out to the cold car, then down the noisy highway to the animal hospital. I do not like strange places. They look and smell funny and I don't like the garish institutional lighting.

The worst part is when my People leave me with this strange person in a white coat with funny thingie hanging down her neck (which I am NOT in the mood to play with!) and then she pokes and prods me. She does pet me to try to calm me down but I am a monster.

I rule!

The next thing I know I am in a cage, in a little room with a lot of cages with cats and dogs in them, and I've got this tube sticking out of me where the abcess is.

Talk about unsightly. And definitely undignified.

My People finally come to pick me up and I am feeling spacey from the sedative. I do not even meow to greet them. Plus, I am mad.

People #1 sits behind that round thing in the car, twisting and turning it around, while I sit in People #2's lap on the other seat.

I am so glad to be back in my familiar space. Now if I can only get this tube out of my neck...

Here's a couple pics from happier times the day before:

"So, ya wanna take my picture -- AGAIN?"



"Okay, you can post these pictures because they're BEFORE I go to the V-E-T!!"

Bird Hunger

I see birds right outside my window and they look so DELICIOUS!

Plump. Yet sleek. Tasty. Delectable.

YUM!

Is this FUN?

People #1 likes to play with me by tickling my belly sometimes.

Because he is Alpha Guy, I allow this. But I don't always like it. Yes I do. No I don't.

It's tough to decide.

On one hand the belly rubbing feels good but then I get too excited and start kicking. People #2 calls it my "bunny kicks".

That term really helps. (Not.)

So there's People #1 playing with me while People #2 points that metal box at me. How much can a cat take?

It's hard to be dignified during such moments. Above all, we cats must maintain our dignity. We do NOT like being made fools of.

But yet...I like to play and the rubbing does feel good. No it doesn't. Yes it does.

Please visit my brand-new kitty friends!

Kat Mortensen, one of my favorite poets and bloggers, has a wonderful brand-new kitty blog to showcase her feline family.

Please check it out! Have the honor of posting comments on the blog on their very first day!

4 Cats Ruffin' It!

If you're so inclined, check out Kat's other blogs on her profile page. She is delightful reading.

Thanks.

Paws 'n Claws,
Rupert

My New Scratching Post!

I wake up early this morning and my paws itch.

My claws are getting long and dull and I need to sharpen them!

This is done by scratching on something. When I'm in The Woods, there's lots of various kinds of old boards and logs to whale away on. When I'm indoors at home, I have a scratching thing made out of cardboard hung on the wall of the Music Room.

But my choices are rather limited in this small silver bullet. I can scratch on the carpet, but it's too close to where my People sit in front of their little black boxes at the desk. They might get mad.

In fact, I can count on that.

Anyway I gotta do something -- I'm going crazy here!

Maybe I should scratch on the sofa when my People are asleep, when it's folded out into a bed.

What a GRRREAT idea!

So I do it really early this morning. Scratch-scratch-scratch-scraaa....

"Stop that, Rupert!" both People scold me. Darn, I think they are asleep, but I'm wrong.

Their ears are unusually sharp whenever I do something they don't like. It never fails. I can't get away with squat!

My People leave me alone (again!) today and then they come back with a box with a picture of a kitty and scratching board on it. I suddenly catch a whiff of catnip and I am *ON* this thing like white on rice!

OH yeah. I love catnip. Who doesn't?

People #1 is the handyman of the family. I think he's getting ready to do something. He's looking at this blank wall...




He takes out that yellow thing which buzzes like an angry bee and starts making holes in the wall by the door with it.




He opens the box and takes stuff out, and I smell the catnip even stronger now. He sets one of the things by the door and I casually jump off the couch to investigate. Don't pay any attention to me!

I sniff from the bottom and work my way up. It's a good technique. Try it sometime.







The buzzing is louder now and I don't like the sound.





So I jump back up on the couch and do my most handsome poses, again very casually of course.





I decide to scratch quietly and ever-so-subtly on the couch one last time. Maybe They won't notice me. Ooops! Darn.





People #2 tells me to stop scratching on the couch; he says that I'm going to get something much better to scratch on very, very soon now.

Then People #1 puts down that yellow buzzing bee thing and comes toward me with a plastic bag. Suddenly the smell of catnip grows MUCH STRONGER!





People #1 takes away the bag of catnip way too soon. Bring it back, will you?

He spreads some of the herb on the cardboard.





He attaches it to the wall. Okay, now it's time to jump off the couch and check this out up close and personal!





"Ringo, you stay back! Give a cat some space!"





Here's a short video of my new scratching experience. My People are happy, and more importantly, *I* am happy!!

I want this kitty as my friend!

I see this funny kitty video today and want to share it with you all:



I am sorry if you already see this. But it is worth watching many times. I wish this kitty were my friend! She (or he) is a cat after my own heart. I would do the same exact thing to this machine!

Trip Video!

My People are gone and they take the dog. I don't miss Ringo.

Okay, maybe a little.

I sleep by myself all night and am not disturbed, but will still give Major Cattitude when they come back!

Here is a short video of our trip to the beach. As you can see, I am the paragon of patience. I am such a good cat.

You will also see this big pond I am talking about. I still don't know what it is. It sure makes a lot of noise though.

At The Beach!

My People end up driving me to the beach last Sunday.

I am a very good kitty in the car! I meow a few times, but mostly just sit quietly on the passenger seat.

Usually, People #1 drives and People #2 is my lap seat. This time, People #1 drives the truck towing the trailer in front of us, so I can't sit in People #2's lap. He's got his hands on that round thing which he turns this way and that. When I try to crawl in his lap, he tells me to stay in my seat.

Sometimes I grumble just to remind him who's really boss.

People #2 talks to me and pets me often, at least while I'm awake. I do manage to get in a few winks during the trip.

We finally stop and we are in a completely new place. People #2 takes me in his arms and we get out of the car. I am too dignified to struggle, but I do try to turn my head around to see where I am. People #2 whispers some sweet nothing in my ear and pets me.

I don't see much except smooth gray ground (the stuff cars like to ride on) and a bunch of huge white boxes which look like tiny houses parked all around.

I see the familiar silver bullet which is my first home. People #2 opens the door and takes me back to the litter box which is in the little bathroom at the back of the trailer. Yeah, yeah, I know where it is already! You don't have to keep putting me in it.

What I would like is some FOOD. But my bowl is empty for a few more minutes, which feels like a day.

I hear this strange noise all the time. It's sort of like traffic. But it doesn't stink so much.

In fact, it has a very different smell. Somehow it makes me hungry for fish.

This trailer is a very small space with both People and that darn dog. I have to laugh when they do this little shuffling dance to get around one another. I smirk in satisfaction when the People keep telling Ringo to move!

I, on the other hand, know how to stay out of the way. I thank my lucky stars that I paid attention in Kitty 101.

I like to hide under the couch in the front of the trailer. But I can't do this at night when the People fold it out to a bed.

Sometimes I come out to eat or be fussed over. Other times I sit on top of the couch and look out the window at the water.

I mean, this pond is HUGE! I don't think I could swim to the other side if I had to. (I hate water except to drink.)

For now, I am content to stay inside. The People take Ringo out for walks a lot. This is fine. I don't care one way or the other.

One of my favorite places is the little bathroom in the back. My litter box is on the bottom of the shower, and my food bowl is on the shower seat above that. I like to sit on the top of the commode, when the lid is down of course! I can see everything that goes on from this vantage point.


"Oh, you're taking my picture! Hmmm...."



"First I'm going to ignore you for a little bit."



"Oh all right! Here's a better face."




I hear the People talking about putting me in a harness and a leash and taking me outside. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this now. I look pretty ridiculous in that harness, which they put on me last year but give up quickly because they don't like the way it looks, and I certainly don't like the way it feels.

There's nothing worse than an undignified cat. I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, here's a shot of me with Ringo kickin' back:

I don't like changes!

Both my People are rushing around taking stuff out of the house today, which disturbs me.

Very much.

This can mean only one thing: we are going on a trip.

I do not like trips. I'd rather stay at home!

But I don't get a vote. I need to keep my cool when I ride in the car.

I'm better at it than I used to be, but I still get freaked out sometimes. Especially when we slow down, or when they use the turn-signal. For some reason the sound of the signal really bothers me.

It looks like I'll be living in that big silver bullet thing again. That is my first home when I first bring my People home from the animal shelter in Vancouver. I am not sure I like the small space. Especially now that we have added a big dog to the family!

But it is fun to hide underneath the couch!

See you on the flip.

My New Roommate

I saunter up to my computer keyboard and start pawing away. Furiously.

People #2 looks up quizzically from his desk. "Rupert, I don't believe this! Are you blogging two days in a row? This is unheard of!"

Then he hears "Reeeowwww....rouw....meowmeow....prrrrd...rwow" (and so on and so forth) but what I am actually saying is: "I've got all these new kitty friends who want to KNOW about me now! I am just vain enough to enjoy being on display, so why not share my kitty life with the public?"

Vain? Moi?

Yes, cats are natural hams, although of course we rarely admit it. Kitty 101 again.

So let me tell you about my new roommate.

It is a DOG, actually. His name is Ringo. I first see him a few years ago when we live in Arizona. Next door neighbor Cowboy is his first owner.

Cowboy needs to change jobs and locations, and gives Ringo to my People #1 and People #2, who become Ringo's second owners. This happens in August.

When Ringo first arrives, I am not thrilled. "Oh, that dog again," I hiss. I arch my back and bare my very sharp teeth. They are like razors, like my claws. I am proud of what equipment I still have!

"Stay back, dog", I growl. I stand my ground, as I do with all dogs. (In fact, I pretend to attack the neighbor's very large dog when we first move here, but that's another story!)

Ringo looks at me warily. "Oh, one of THOSE cats!" he thinks. "I'd better keep my distance".

Mission accomplished.



People #1 has the irritating habit of picking me up and bringing me close to the dog, talking sofly. At first I make a show of resisting, then get tired. Ringo just sits there, waiting for me to make friends.

He has a long time to wait.



I grow bored of hissing and decide to touch noses with Ringo. Obviously he's going to be around for a while. I don't feel like wasting my energy fighting him. Now that I've got him reasonably trained, he is tolerable to be around.

In fact, he does keep me company when People #1 and People #2 are gone. Wouldn't they like to be a fly on the wall to see what we do?

OH MY I am BAD!!

"Bad, bad kitty", my People #2 scolds me.

I wash my face and ignore him. It's the very first subject we have to take in Kitty 101.

He asks, "Why do you even have a blog, Rupert? You haven't written in it for nearly a year!"

Meow, I say. Whatever. I'm a busy cat.

People #2 shrugs his shoulders and walks away. I hate it when he does that.

Shame takes a while to sink in, if it sinks in at all. I am a CAT, for gosh sake. We cats do whatever we want. When we want to do it.

When we are not sleeping, eating or stalking (if we are lucky enough to go outdoors, which I am!) we spend our time training our People.

We take this very seriously. It's a noble, worthwhile goal which lasts all of our (nine) lives.

In fact, it's our most important task next to sleeping. These People need to know who's boss. In this house, that's ME.

Sometimes I have to lay down the law:



Other times we cats have to pretend to do what the People want, in order to get what WE want. Sometimes People have good ideas, but we mustn't encourage them or praise them in any way. If the ideas just happen to line up with what we have in mind, then we can go along with it, maybe.

So I put paws to keyboard to write in my blog. Yawn. Stretch. Wash.

Okay, I'm going back to sleep now.